Is the 'Tiger Mom' a thing of the past?

How are Chinese migrant families navigating belonging and identity in New Zealand in today? And more specifically, how do Chinese mothers raising their children in Aotearoa view and shape their children’s cultural identity?

These were some of the questions that interested University of Auckland doctoral student in education Sophie Jing during her masters research, and which are now the basis of her article in the UK-based Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development.

The study explored how Chinese migrant parents understand cultural competence, meaning in this case, cultural understanding, identity and practice, and what kinds of ways they hope their children will express those things.

Jing found that many parents viewed cultural competence less as a collection of facts to be handed down and more as the ability to navigate relationships, values and different cultural contexts in their everyday lives.

She says one of the interesting findings was that, of the small group of Chinese mothers aged between 30 and 40 she spoke to for her study, one mother welcomed the possibility that Māori values could become part of her children’s lives in the future.

“She saw Māori values, perspectives and ways of relating as part of growing up in Aotearoa New Zealand.”

Jing says wider discussions about culture often assume maintaining a connection with one's heritage means continuing to celebrate traditional festivals and preserving cultural traditions unchanged.

Her findings suggest a more complex picture.

“When parents discussed Chinese culture, they rarely began with festivals, history, or cultural knowledge. Instead, they consistently talked about values like respect for others, responsibility, care for family and community, and ethical behaviour in relationships.”

And unlike stereotyped – and in some cases outdated – ideas about what it means to have an Asian upbringing, where the so-called ‘Tiger Mom’ rules the roost and is highly demanding about things like academic achievement, discipline and success, many parents in her study didn’t connect respect with unthinking obedience.

“While they hoped their children would value courtesy, gratitude and respect for elders, they also wanted them to think critically, express their own opinions, speak up if something is unfair and develop confidence and independence,” says Jing.

She says the parents she spoke to (all living in Auckland with school-age children) weren’t interested in imposing traditional authority structures but instead hoped to strike a balance between respect and personal agency.

“Some parents prioritised qualities like kindness, integrity, honesty and empathy, and one parent said becoming a good person was more important than identifying strongly with any one cultural group.”

Jing believes these findings challenge common views that Chinese migrant families are mostly focused on academic success or preserving their culture at all costs.

Another notable discovery was that the parents didn’t view identity as fixed.

“Rather than expecting children to become exclusively Chinese or exclusively New Zealanders, many hoped their children would develop hybrid identities shaped by multiple cultural influences,” she says.

And the fact that Chinese, New Zealand, Māori and perhaps other countries’ values can, from their point of view, coexist, suggests many migrant families are not choosing between cultures, but are instead helping children learn to navigate multiple cultural worlds simultaneously, says Jing.

More broadly, she says, the study suggests migrant families are not simply transmitting culture but actively interpreting, negotiating and producing cultural knowledge through everyday family life.

“Rather than raising children to fit a single cultural mould, many migrant parents want to bring up people who can move confidently, respectfully and thoughtfully across different cultural communities.”

Jing says these findings connect with wider conversations in New Zealand about Asian migration, multiculturalism, youth wellbeing and language maintenance.

They also add to our understanding of what it means to grow up between cultures as part of the 1.5 generation: someone born in one country, but who moves to another during childhood or adolescence.

Jing hopes her research will contribute to ongoing, and sometimes contested, conversations about cultural diversity, belonging and education in this country.

“I believe an understanding of how migrant families negotiate culture in everyday life can help educators, communities and policymakers recognise culture not simply as language, festivals or traditions, but as something lived through values, relationships and everyday decisions.

“I also want to encourage a greater recognition of these families as important sites of cultural learning, meaning-making and identity development.”

Jing’s wider doctoral research involves working alongside Chinese heritage-language women in New Zealand to explore identity, belonging and intergenerational experiences through creative storytelling and collaborative research.

Sophie Jing is currently undertaking a PhD in the University’s Faculty of Arts and Education under supervisors Dr Esther Fitzpatrick and Associate Professor Kirsten Locke.

Beyond transmission: a thickened understanding of cultural competence in Chinese migrant families in Aotearoa New Zealand by Sophie Man Jing was published on 16 June in the Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development.