Pronouns: What are pronouns, and how do you use them?

Pronouns are the words we use to refer to someone when not using their name, including she/her, he/him, they/them and others.

For example; “Hey, someone forgot their wallet”.

In the English Language, pronouns have historically emphasised a binary construct of gender. Many individuals use pronouns associated with their sex assigned at birth. For others, gendered pronouns and the assumptions behind them can be a stressor – particularly for people who are transgender and nonbinary. Pronoun expression can be an important part of a person’s identity. 

Cisgender people (those who identify with the gender they are assigned at birth) can often overlook how pronouns tie into all our identities. Pronouns are often assigned to your gender identity, and so they exist as a signifier to others on how to refer to you. However, a person’s pronouns do not have to align with their gender identity. It’s important not to assume anyone’s pronouns.

People’s pronouns can change once or multiple times, so it is always important to be respectful first and foremost. 

People can use a variety of pronouns, including combinations like she/they, ia, ze/zir and many others. 

Why is being intentional with using pronouns important?

Identifying your pronouns and making a conscious decision
when using them in your day-to-day signifies you as an ally. Active allyship
can be a great help to our gender-diverse communities, as it shows that we are
being supportive and contributes to safer spaces at University. It’s
also a simple way to show respect to all people, by addressing them how they
want to be addressed.

Tips on how you can be an ally with your pronouns 

  • Use pronouns in your email signatures and when you introduce yourself.
  • Add your pronouns to your Zoom, Microsoft Teams and social media accounts. You can find out how to add pronouns to your Zoom account here. and on your Teams account here.
  • If you don’t know what pronouns someone uses, just ask them. Otherwise, use non-gendered language, such as referring to the person by their name.
  • Ask people politely for what pronouns they use, but don’t force anyone to share.
  • If you feel uncomfortable asking someone about their pronouns, try sharing yours first, and they should naturally follow along.

For example: “Kia ora! My name is Michael, and I go by he, they and ia pronouns, how about you?” 

Waipapa Taumata Rau, The University of Auckland, is committed to the celebration and affirmation of our rainbow communities. We welcome feedback on how this support may be enhanced.